In this captivating episode of the podcast, Karen Roberts sits down with John Kenny, a renowned relationship coach, author, speaker, and host of the Relationship Guy podcast. With a fascinating journey from the service industry to therapist training and, eventually, becoming a sought-after relationship coach, John brings a wealth of wisdom to the table. This episode delves deep into understanding how our past experiences influence our relationships and offers valuable insights for creating healthy, loving connections.

The Impact of Early Experiences

John starts by emphasizing the profound impact our past experiences have on our relationships. He notes that virtually everything we do in life is connected to our relationships, making it crucial to explore and understand our early programming. Our upbringing and early life experiences can shape our attitudes, behaviors, and attraction patterns later in life.

Attraction Style and Its Significance

One of the key aspects discussed in this episode is our attraction style, which is heavily influenced by our childhood experiences. Understanding our attraction style provides insight into why we find certain individuals attractive. It allows us to assess whether these attractions lead to healthy relationships or if they are rooted in past traumas and unhealthy patterns.

Attachment Style and Relationship Health

John also sheds light on attachment styles, developed during early childhood, that can be categorized as secure or insecure. These styles significantly impact our relationships. Recognizing our attachment style can help us maintain healthier connections and avoid repeatedly choosing partners who trigger our insecurities.

Overcoming Resistance and Breaking Patterns

The conversation takes a deeper turn as John discusses overcoming resistance and breaking negative patterns. He emphasizes the power of self-talk and the importance of shifting from self-limiting to self-empowering language. John introduces the concept of the “want list,” emphasizing that focusing on what we desire in a relationship is vital for creating our ideal partnership.

The Reticular Activating System

Another fascinating topic explored is the reticular activating system, which helps us identify and concentrate on the things we desire in life. John’s insights into how this system works provide a practical approach to manifesting the relationships and experiences we truly want.


In this thought-provoking episode, John Kenny shares invaluable insights into the intricate world of relationships. By understanding the impact of our past experiences, recognizing our attraction and attachment styles, and consciously shifting our self-talk, we can break free from unhealthy patterns and create the loving, fulfilling relationships we deserve. John’s wisdom is a beacon of hope for those seeking to build and nurture healthier connections in their lives. Tune in to this enlightening conversation to embark on a journey toward healthier, more meaningful relationships.

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